It's amazing to me at 33 years old how much I am still learning about myself. I am very thankful for the mystery because it is beautiful, intriguing, mind-blowing, humbling, extraordinary, scary, exciting, amazing... words really cannot express or do justice to what this life has to offer. God, I am so thankful to be me and on this journey. In no way is it always easy. My goodness, sometimes it feels unbearable. Sometimes I loose myself. So many times I am confused and don't know which direction to go in. But as my dear sweet Lewis Carroll puts it, "if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there." And you know what..? At the very same time, everything feels right on time. I might not have what I want but I certainly get exactly what I need. And I see the beauty. Everyday. I see it and I feel it. And I am grateful for that.
There are so many lessons I am learning right now and many things I want to bring into existence in my life. Above all else, I want to stay true to me. As Gretchen Rubin says, "Be Gretchen," or in my case... "Be April." I truely think that is the most important thing I can ever ever do. It really all comes back to staying true to myself. Again and again. Then, when I am completely honest with me, when I really accept me, love me for who I really am, forgive me for my mistakes and for who maybe I thought I should be, and when I really know myself, when I really take the time to key in on the real me, unapologetically--then I can give of myself to others in a genuine, authentic, loving, compassionate, forgiving way. It all comes down to that. "Be April."